I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
