I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
