Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
