i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I understand Curling. That high.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
