ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
They took my balls.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
