Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
