I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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