I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
