Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
