miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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