i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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