Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
