i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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