I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize