I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
