How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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