my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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