all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
