i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
