remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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