so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
