perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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