His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
