Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
