The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
