I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
id be glad to
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
