yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
