my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just googled if crying burns calories
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
