Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
