The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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