Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize