Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
