I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize