Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
