There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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