just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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