i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
