Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
