you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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