Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
