weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
