When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
