It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
