i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
