either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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