I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize