My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
