One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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