Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
