the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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