They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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