you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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