Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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