I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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