Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
