So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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