Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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