Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
