just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Sober January is a disaster.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
