Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
