i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Your tits are I can't wait for
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
