Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
