You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
