Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
