Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
