I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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