Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
