It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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