Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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