I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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