So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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