Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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