It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
