You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Drunk is not a location!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
