I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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