I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
