His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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