Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
