nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
