I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
