I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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