I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
